Good lawd, can it only be Day #4? I'm dying here. I am SO TIRED. I just hit the wall and took a nap today, I didn't get any of the work done I was supposed to.
My back hurt, and my neck was cramping up. I went to my massage guy, and it was the best massage I have ever had in my whole life. It was like all the muscles in my back had tensed up weird like I slept on my whole body wrong. It was THE BEST.
Driving, I could feel every little bump. It's been a while since I felt that. My poor ovaries are clearly doing something, and I can feel them gurgling. They're doing something to my lower back, almost like period cramps that radiate. Ugh.
My poor stomach is a Lovenox battleground. I have spotted bruises all over and hard places from all of these shots. I'm on four a day now, Lovenox, Lupron, Gonal F, and Menopur. I've stayed hydrated. No alcohol. I am a model patient.
I've gotten better at actively blocking thoughts. I am not going to beat myself up today. I am not going to worry about the next steps today. I am not thinking about the risks of twins today. I am not thinking about the cost and the fucked up insurance. I am not thinking about IVF divorces today. Most importantly, I am not beating myself up for being in this position. Not today. For today, just get through today. And if that means take a nap and get a massage, then do what you have to do, girl. The to do list will still be there.