Sunday, March 1, 2015

Not Very Spontaneous

To the Woman in the Waiting Room:

I sat next to you in the tiny blood draw waiting room, next to the corkboard covered in twins, for my beta to confirm my pregnancy, and I'm sorry for what happened.  I saw my nurse run by the blood draw station, and I yelled out at her to ask if I should be taking my progesterone.  Since it happened on a break, I didn't have any sheets telling me what to do!

She yelled back
"Because it's spontaneous, don't take anything but your prenatals."  And she was gone.

I could feel you tense up next to me, and I'm sorry.  There was nowhere to hide, and I know you were in the thick of your own journey through hell.  Maybe right after your failed IVF you put every ounce of your heart into.  Or maybe you were just trying not to cry in the middle of the hell of a chemical pregnancy.  Or maybe you just can't believe how many freaking times you have been to this office to blow some more cash and get more bad news.  Or maybe there's blood everywhere and you know this can't end well.  Or maybe you feel like such an idiot for thinking this time it would work when you know how bad the odds are.  Or maybe you were about to go scream in your car because you have been doing this for three years now, and it is never going to end.

And then there's this bitch with a "spontaneous" pregnancy sitting next to you.  God, even at the IVF clinic, the preggos have to rub it in.

If it makes you feel any better, I don't consider anything that takes three years and five figures very "spontaneous."

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