Suck It Up. She Had a Baby

Pregnant in My Forties just had a crappy experience where her sister texted expecting a card the minute she shit out her little blessing.  Of all the baby showers I have skipped and gifts I have missed, I'm glad no one ever did that to me because they would be really sad at the flood of awkward anger/resentment/jealousy that poured out of me.  But mostly the grief.  They wouldn't be able to handle the flood of grief, and that's why I don't dump it on them and why most of them don't even know about this whole pile of crap

My husband's cousin, skinny bitch with a boob job, had a baby a little over a month ago.  He's a manager at an oil change place, and she quit her receptionist job to stay at home, and her non-English speaking, overbearing mother lives there too after her ugly divorce.  I can't say I exactly envy that, but I am so very jealous that she has two incredibly beautiful boys and I have a stack of bills.

I sent her a present.  It was a nice present too.  The last baby, right before we started trying, I sent a $200 flower arrangement and never heard anything, so I toned it down.  I sent a set of blankets and onesies and stuff.  Generic, but hey, I sent it and wrote some shit about how happy I was for her.

Fast forward, she is posting a picture of the baby every freaking day on Facebook.  And she couldn't pop me a message about my nice gift.  I'm tempted to send an aggressive text like Pregnant in my Forties's sister, but I really don't care.  I could actually give a shit if she got this present.  It just sucks to crawl out of this hole and try to act like everything is normal for a minute, only to realize it's not.  A baby photo on Facebook is not the same, and a birth present is not the same.  Nothing will ever be the same.