Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Implant 2 or 1?

I have only one more big decision to make about this IVF cycle, assuming everything goes to plan.  Do I want to transfer 1 or 2?  Like Spirit Baby Come Home, I consider this a big decision.

It's a gamble.  If I don't implant the two, I might get none, and I'll have to live with that I didn't do everything I could.  But there were a lot of twins in those pictures of babies all over the IVF clinic...  It's easy to gamble when it's someone else's eggs, and someone else will be doing the midnight feedings of preemie twins or on bedrest for three months.

At my clinic, 95% of women my age transfer two fresh, which probably leads to its incredibly high success rate.  The other 5% have some health reason not to, which I don't have.  Well, at least that I don't know I have because I never got that far.  My uterus has never seen any action, so we have no idea what will happen when it gets that far.

The risk, obviously, is twins.  Twins actually run in my family on both sides.  My dad, aunts, 2/4 grandparents are twins, my aunt miscarried twins.  We're like 50% twins in here!  My mom found it hilarious that IVF might be how I get the twins that somebody in the family should have had by now.  Yes, hilarious that everyone else's magical fertility only gave them one baby four times in a row.  Twins would be special in my family for sure.  She might even tell everyone twins run in the family, if she didn't feel the need to tell everyone about my IVF all the time.  But I don't want to take any risk on health issues, premature babies, add on danger just to have the twins my mom would love.

I think I am going to make an appointment with my OB.  He is a weird dude, but I've been with him a while, and I know he'll tell me how it is.  And even though I have very dark memories from that waiting room.  I'm just going to ask him what he would do.

My sister, always a scientist, offered the almost relevant input that it is not medically ethical to selectively reduce from twins to singletons.  I guess she means to say that means twins are safe-ish?  Selective reduction is not my question.  My thinking is more like if I can prevent my baby being premature or having the other issues of twins, maybe I should?  I'm in a position where bedrest could be done.  I'm also in a position where another FET could be done, no big deal.  I could do anything I need to to make this work.  But maybe I should play it safe?  I am open to input.

2 comments:

  1. I may not be the best person to comment here, since I would love twins or more! (Of course, I write that in the ignorance of someone who has never had them.) I just always felt, more to love, and there was no question when my clinic asked me if I had any concerns over putting two back. BUT there are major health issues and I totally understand your concerns. I just don't know what to say, because it has to be your totally personal decision. Even your OB won't have a definitive answer. So sorry to be so vague! But knowing that whatever decision you make it will be the right one.

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  2. I'm pretty sure your sister meant to say that if it was risky, it wouldn't be unethical to have a selective reduction. Not to say that the level of risk is the same as with a singleton. BTW, I'm an identical twin, my older sister has identical twins, and my twin sister has fraternal twins. My twin sister's MIL is also a twin, so our holidays involve LOTS of twins. Twins are awesome! But having observed my twin with her twins the last four and a half year, they are a LOT of work.

    I'm not a big gambler, so I think you have to weigh what you would rather risk more - twins or no babies. Personally, I'd err on the side of twins, but I'm 36, so you have more time than me if this cycle doesn't work out (and I REALLY hope it does!)

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