Here I am back at this clinic Christmas tree covered in ornaments of twins. Baby's First Christmas. Days before Christmas, when I am seriously doubting if the universe is ever going to allow me to be a mother, we had our WTF appointment about our failed IVF #1. I never wrote out "IVF #1" before and just said IVF, because I didn't think this would happen. So, yea, WTF for IVF #1.
The WTF was what I expected in that there was no WTF. Everything was textbook perfect. Embryos, lining, hormones. We have five near perfect frozen blasties. Everything perfect except the part where it didn't work. Oh, and whatever those cramps were after implantation. No biggie.
I told the doctor my plan:
I want two babies. (HA!) Let me rephrase, universe, I would like to maybe try to have two babies someday if that is maybe ever possible, please, someday. If I got pregnant with one of the frozen blasties this year-ish, by the time I came back again I would be 34-35, with some amount of frozen blasties left. If that didn't work, it might be too late to do a fresh cycle? I'd rather do a second fresh cycle now, at 32 1/2. Then I'd have like 10 in the freezer from when I was 32, and it wouldn't matter if a cycle or five failed.
The doctor didn't like this plan. He said to just use up the
frozen, maybe get my twins and be done. Maybe do a fresh round at 34 or whatever if I have to, that 32 and 34 isn't a huge difference statistically. But, as has
proven true in reproductive concierge medicine, it's my call and I can always go fresh
if I want to and have the cash. Haven't made a decision yet.
crazy OBGYN about this one.
I asked about the video showing the embryos grow like Pregnant in my Forties had. I thought that was just the coolest thing!!! He said, yes, it is cool, but it does not improve your likelihood of getting pregnant and they do not do anything that does not increase your likelihood of getting pregnant or add any unnecessary increased risk or complication. Well then, fun police. Guess you can't buy whatever you want in concierge medicine.
He said I'm required to do at least a six week break. I'm thinking even that isn't enough. I'm going to take that vacation I put off. I'm going to drink a whole bottle of tequila. I'm going to ski. Maybe I'll get a spray tan. Maybe I'll get a new job. I'm open to input on my plans. I'm open to anything life has to offer right now.