The WTF was what I expected in that there was no WTF. Everything was textbook perfect. Embryos, lining, hormones. We have five near perfect frozen blasties. Everything perfect except the part where it didn't work. Oh, and whatever those cramps were after implantation. No biggie.
I told the doctor my plan:
I want two babies. (HA!) Let me rephrase, universe, I would like to maybe try to have two babies someday if that is maybe ever possible, please, someday. If I got pregnant with one of the frozen blasties this year-ish, by the time I came back again I would be 34-35, with some amount of frozen blasties left. If that didn't work, it might be too late to do a fresh cycle? I'd rather do a second fresh cycle now, at 32 1/2. Then I'd have like 10 in the freezer from when I was 32, and it wouldn't matter if a cycle or five failed.
The doctor didn't like this plan. He said to just use up the frozen, maybe get my twins and be done. Maybe do a fresh round at 34 or whatever if I have to, that 32 and 34 isn't a huge difference statistically. But, as has proven true in reproductive concierge medicine, it's my call and I can always go fresh if I want to and have the cash. Haven't made a decision yet.
I asked about the video showing the embryos grow like Pregnant in my Forties had. I thought that was just the coolest thing!!! He said, yes, it is cool, but it does not improve your likelihood of getting pregnant and they do not do anything that does not increase your likelihood of getting pregnant or add any unnecessary increased risk or complication. Well then, fun police. Guess you can't buy whatever you want in concierge medicine.
He said I'm required to do at least a six week break. I'm thinking even that isn't enough. I'm going to take that vacation I put off. I'm going to drink a whole bottle of tequila. I'm going to ski. Maybe I'll get a spray tan. Maybe I'll get a new job. I'm open to input on my plans. I'm open to anything life has to offer right now.
A fresh round at 34/35 will most probably not be too late. I got pregnant at 39 and so did my best friend. I have recently read a credible study saying age plays less of a role than assumed.
ReplyDeleteYea, I think so, maybe, I hope. But after everything has failed, it seems like it might be better to hedge my bets and have enough embryos form 32 year old me that I can do a ton of cycles and not panic when one fails.
DeleteFWIW, (and I'm already much older than you) my new RE suggested that, since my insurance pays for 4 IVF's of any kind, to do 4 fresh cycles because they're the most expensive. In other words, let insurance pay for that.
ReplyDeleteThen, if I needed to, I could pay for FET out-of-pocket at the much cheaper rate.
I can't remember your insurance situation at all but, they're suggestion made sense to me.
The way the embryoscope would have helped me was if I had several embryos to choose from, like you did, it helps the embryologists pick the best ones. With me just having two embryos it didn't help like that, but at least we have the video of them to weep over in the coming years... Having said that, I've heard of low-grade embryos surprising everyone and turning into bfp's.
ReplyDeleteI like your plan! I so often read that younger eggs = better embryos and I think if I was in your position with that knowledge I would go for another fresh cycle. If it takes its toll on you as much as this last cycle did, I'd be tempted to freeze them all and not transfer any, so letting yourself recover. I read somewhere that FET can be more successful than a fresh transfer because your body isn't completely ragged on the drugs.
And to be honest I think it's a bit irresponsible of your doc to press with twins. You've had a REALLY hard time and reacted really badly, it would seem that all the arrows point to you needing to be treated very carefully, and risking overloading your system with twins seems a bit dangerous.
BUT, that's only my point of view, and I'm no expert. So I think I agree with Jessica. If you have embryos, you have a starting point. Even if - worst case scenario - you had to one day looking at using a surrogate, with embryos at least you have that as an option.
Hope you had a good Christmas hon. Ok, well, as good as possible.