Friday, December 26, 2014

My Gossipy Mom At Christmas

I had imagined telling my parents about my pregnancy right before Christmas.  They already knew about the IVF, so that was the natural next step.  I was going to make a 2014 Christmas ornament.  Santa stork! Twin toy soldiers! After that, I knew my mom would tell anyone anywhere about the pregnancy, just like before my fun ectopic, and I was prepared for that risk.

I wasn't prepared for her to tell everyone and their dog about my OMG SO SAD FAILED IVF cycle.  At Christmas, everyone feels sorry for me and gives me "the look."  I accidentally stole the thunder of a relative who actually is pregnant.  Family who shouldn't have known have a bunch of sciency questions.

This is now my mom's most favorite topic, even in my presence, even over my dad's cancer, and even when she knows I doesn't want to talk about it.  I'm sure she's told everyone from her hair stylist to any neighbor willing to listen to this sad tale of medical failure and lost grandchildren.

I told mom we have to take a three month break.  This is a lie.  Mom has now decided to tell everyone that we will get pregnant naturally in these three months.  You know, like people who adopt or hire a surrogate and then get pregnant.  Ha Ha Ha!  Great story, mom.  Got any more jokes?

Now I have to decide whether to cut my mom off from future IVF information.  In the big scheme of things, I can handle people knowing.  This is my family.  I'm not going to break down in tears, and it wasn't that bad I guess, people were respectful, but it this a betrayal of my trust.  I am pissed she decided she could do whatever she wanted with this information, like always, but it makes me really sad for her to behave like this in something this crushing.  This isn't like "trying" for a while.  This is a fucking failed IVF cycle I put months of my life, money, effort into.  For fuck sake, my mom of all people should know that.  That said, I don't know if I can make it through another IVF round without my mom.


  1. pregnant in my forties - hopefully!January 1, 2015 at 4:10 PM

    Yeah, I know the feeling. I'm not going to tell any of my family if we go for it again. Not that anyone have told anyone inappropriate, it just didn't help with them knowing. I think you now this but your mom telling everyone is probably her way of coping. Not that that will help you.

    1. She's a gossip. And not a very accurate one. She was telling people I was doing IVF when I was barely on Clomid. The only way to stop her is to cut her off, and I'm not sure I can do that.