I went to a baby shower I could not skip last week. Baby showers are so triggering, and someone spent a week on Pinterest for this one. Flowers in tiny baby rainboots. Multiple crossword puzzles. Number guessing. Prizes. Glass containers of pink custom popcorn. I had a few drinks. And then a few more.
A friend of a friend I see maybe 5-6 times a year came up to me. She had a six month old baby on her hip. Of course she did. And she asked it. A throwaway meaningless question at an event with a bunch of people who don't know each other. "So when are you guys going to have a baby?"
I snapped. Maybe it was wrong.
"Well, we are zero for four, so you tell me." *pause* "Did you see so and so's car! He must have gotten a big bonus!"
She cared a lot about that car all of a sudden. And so we talked about the car.
This strategy was risky, obviously. If I happened to pick someone who did IVF, or someone who froze their eggs before chemo, or just someone nosy, there is going to be some followup. I had to be ready to talk about all of it, which I was. I'm just so over all of this. It feels like discussing someone else's life now. Going rogue with honesty is asking for this feedback, which luckily I did not get.
I also opened myself up to gossip. At this point I don't care about that either. Anyone who gave a shit about me as a person would have already known about at least one of the four. I timeshifted this post because I was worried about backlash (especially for my sperm donor!!!). I was really worried people might ask him about it, and I know that would be awkward for him. But it seems like no one said shit. Maybe if you ask a rude question, you keep the TMI answer to yourself. Maybe she thought it was a joke!??!
I feel surprisingly free.