Saturday, April 18, 2015

Cried for You

A friend of mine had a drama situation and she had to leave her fiance.  Get an apartment, hide money, do it all in secret.  Cancel the wedding.  I've been helping her for weeks, picking up a box when he's still at work, calling vendors to explain.  And talking it through over many, many drinks.

So, now she's in her new place, and she just seemed so happy.  And I asked her why she wasn't more sad, and she said she felt relief because she should have done it years ago.  I never saw her cry, so I asked her if she cried about it at night, and she said no.  She said:

I cried for what you've been through, not me.

Wow.  My god.  Is that right?  Has my situation been worse than a Lifetime movie situation of dramatic leaving a lover in secret?  Dear god.  Even when she said that, I thought she was going to cry.  Yea, I think maybe it has been that bad.  Yes, I think maybe 0 for 4 has really been that bad.  And there is no relief because I don't have a safe apartment to move into.

And suddenly I was so moved that someone else was so touched for me and for my pain that she had cried for me.  I was so moved that my pain had been heard, that it had been felt, that I wasn't alone.  I was so moved that someone in a very dark chapter in her own life would feel this for me, and would hold my struggle so close to her heart.  We had a Steel Magnolias moment right there.  As sisters in our vulnerability.

Here I was dealing with her crap to avoid dealing with mine, and she was worried about mine and not hers.  That's a true friend.  Helping someone felt good, especially when there were actual things I could do to help the situation.  Like call the florist or pack a box.  I was doing something.  There's nobody to call to fix it when you're five weeks out from no heartbeat.  And yea, I guess I have been through a lot in the last year, and it just keeps coming.  And there's nothing anyone else can do for me except be a friend.


  1. Replies
    1. Ok. I was having heaps of trouble posting under my wordpress account but got it now. Phew.

      So all I wanted to say was it is a lovely friendship that you both have that you can be there for each this.