On the way to Hermione's shower, which should have been mine, my mom was having none of it. This isn't about you. This is your niece. These are all people who love her, nothing is going to be about you, and this is going to be fun.
We drove past my babies in the freezer. And then it was a very long drive. And then I was at a giant Mexican baby shower with a TON of people and so much going on. Why had I been worried? This wasn't about me at all. HA. I hate it when mom is right. Besides, if I talked to everyone, it would be 90 seconds of conversation.
I had crafted a onesie with an inside joke, it was pretty funny. Everyone loved it in the gift opening, more than the ridiculous $200 present. And to think I literally got tears on it when I was making it last night. Ridiculous. This is happy, this isn't about me. It was wonderful. It was fun to be around so much family and with so much love.
My mom had to leave, and I got a ride from Fancypants to her evening shower, hosted by one of my dear friends at night. I knew this one would be rowdier. I wasn't even invited to this one, they were being kind to me. (Her family shower was a week before). Fancypants seemed glad I was going, and you know what, it was fun.
They had some dumb game where everyone, including men, put a balloon under their shirt, held a quarter between their knees, raced someone across the room, and tried to get the quarter in a bowl on the floor. It was hilarious and stupid. One of the balloons popped, and there were some distasteful miscarriage jokes. That was the only moment the whole night I felt that sting of loss. Otherwise, the whole night, I had a fantastic time.
It would be unthinkable to me a few days ago that I would have spent all day at two baby showers and had a delightful time. It was great. My time will come, or maybe it won't. But the world is full of love, and if you are open, you can see it and feel it and receive it where you think it's impossible.