Monday, November 9, 2015

Heartless Gossip

I was talking to a friend who knows a friend of Fancypants.  She updated me on my own family's gossip.   That long telephone game with people who this is none of their business resulted in a mostly accurate rendition of about half my fertility struggles.  From a woman who is in my family --- and is snuggling a fucking newborn right now.

Conclusion is that I get a pass on baby shit.  Gee thanks.

Nobody picked up a phone or even said shit.  Everyone knew.  Nobody said shit.

Talk about the worst kind of gossip.  Passing my pain around along and not having an ounce of compassion to try to be there for me?  To say I'm sorry?  I'm praying for you?  Hell, I'd even take the well-meaning offensive shit people say (just relax?) over just whispering behind my back and saying nothing.

In my family, no one has been there for me.  My mom always has been useless.  My sister didn't even return the text when I told her there was no heartbeat.  I guess after this many she had no fucks left to give.  My own husband didn't remember the due date.

His family is clearly useless too.  Not only doing nothing to be there or give a shit, but actively gossiping around this story.  I really thought I was close to my in-laws.  In some ways, more than my own parents.  But not now.  I'm an outsider.  They will never be there for me.  In so many ways, I'm on my own. 


  1. Ouch, that's pretty cruel of them. I'm sitting here astonished that your sister didn't return your text. I can't remember if you've written about her or your relationship with her before but, that's unbelievable.

    I wish I knew you IRL so I could do my best to be a shoulder for you. But, it does sound like you have some pretty good friends around who care.

    And, I am a huge believer that you can make a family from your friends.

    I have a supportive family and my in-laws are wonderful. However, I have found that the comfort I've appreciated the most has come from the friends I consider my family.

    1. I never expected much from my mom or sister. I guess it was just a non-issue since I knew it wouldn't be there. My in-laws, I thought, were like what a real, supportive family should be. But nope.

  2. Sometimes, not all the time but sometimes... family is the worst. I'm sorry you're going through all of this alone. It's unfair. On top of everything it's just down right cruel. It's no help but your struggle breaks my heart. If I prayed I would pray for you but the best I've got is hope, and I'm going to keep hoping for you <3

    1. I do have some awesome friends. But wow does it hurt to realize how crap my family has been through all this.

  3. People can be so incredibly hurtful and insensitive, wrapped up in their own bubbles. I'm sorry you're finding so little support from family when you really need it.xx