I need to just get off Facebook. A monologue about getting pregnant five minutes after getting birth. OMG, we had no idea this would happen. Maybe we should have read the books, tee hee. I know so many people are struggling, and I am so grateful! #blessed
And it's true. #blessed for that. How else could that happen? It's true that we can't control so many things, that this isn't all my fault, luck, God, blah blah. But if that is #blessed, what does that make me?
God loves you and your alcoholic husband so much that you get two accidental babies, and here I am four years later. Does this mean I don't deserve blessings? Clearly I am not #blessed. Maybe I never will be. I am not sure what it takes to deserve blessings, but clearly I don't have it.
I've always had a strained relationship with spirituality, and when God took my baby and my tube four years ago, that was an all time low. Since then, I have struggled mightily with this concept. I am not worthy of blessings. I do not deserve children, like everyone else seems to. Why is everyone else blessed with what seems so easy?
So, if your pregnany is #blessed, I guess I am #notblessed.