Monday, February 1, 2016

A Tepid Love Letter to Lovenox

Now that I have some blood clotting nonsense, I have $1,400 worth of Lovenox injection in the top shelf of my closet which nobody has ever explained.  I take it sometimes, when it seems like it might matter.  Plane rides.  Ovulation.  A couple weeks until my period comes.  Then I give up a while.  Sometimes I take some aspirin.  It has no side effects, so, whatever.

Sperm Donor asked why I keep taking it, and well, I don't want a blood clot on a plane.  I fly more than once a week, and that would be a shitty way to die.  Thanks infertility!  At least you saved me from dying on a plane from a blood clot.  After all I've been through, THIS is not how I'm going to die, and THIS is not going to be how I lose another baby.

Lovenox is physically a tough shot, worse than any in IVF.   (Except maybe PIO?  I never had that one.) Lovenox's needle is thick, and the medicine is gel.  Bonus, there's an air bubble at the end!  The packaging says the air bubble will reduce bruising.  This is a lie.  My stomach is always covered in bruises.  I done it fast, I've done it slow, 45 degrees, lying down, cold press, whatever, doesn't help.  Sometimes I hit a part that is too hard, even for this nasty needle.  I think this is literally scar tissue from Lovenox.  I think IVF has literally left me scarred.

The weirdest thing I noticed was that I can't even feel the needle anymore.  I look for a soft spot and just do it.  Watching the needle go into flesh, it seems like it's someone else, because I don't even notice.  What?  I CAN'T EVEN FEEL THIS GIANT SHOT ANYMORE.  Maybe needles don't actually hurt that much, and it was in my head?  Or maybe my stomach has been through so much, that it is literally numb now.  Like me, I guess.

5 comments:

  1. Needles suck. I'm sorry you're having to inject yourself with such nasty stuff.. It really doesn't sound like fun. But if it saves your life or your baby's life, it's got to be worth it, eh.

    I've been diagnosed with 'possible clotting issues' and put on Fragmin (not sure what the equivalent is in US) - it's a tiny needle (thankfully) but burns like hell. I'm not sure I could deal with Lovenox. I raise my hat to you.xx

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    1. Interesting, I was reading it was the only one they use for prengant-ish women? I guess it's Coumidin the rest of my life. And hey, my disorder was discovered by NHS, so I raise my hat to you haha.

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  3. I took lovenox every day for 7.5 months of my pregnancy and another six weeks after and I was numb to it, too. Yes, it left me so bruised every ultrasound the tech's and doctors felt sorry for me. They would see my stomach and knew right away I was on lovenox.

    One suggestion - I was on generic lovenox during the pregnancy and I couldn't understand why people hated it so much. Then for the six weeks after I was on brand lovenox and the difference was obvious. Brand lovenox is awful (but Heparin is WAY worse). Ask for the generic lovenox if that's not what you already have.

    When the time comes and you're pregnant (I feel confident it will happen for you) the last six weeks of your pregnancy they switch you to Heparin which were the worst shots of my life. I was positively thrilled to go back to lovenox.

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    1. I have two different generics, I guess they lost their patent? (Found that googling for this). The spring mechanism hurts on one of them, the syringes are different sizes, but the bruising is the same, sadly. The first set I got were from glamorous Milan...

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