Not So High Risk

Six months after my scary lupus tests, I finally got a consult with a MFM.  He was young and good looking.  Maybe the most patient and start seeming doctor I've met with ever.  I was surprised he was a dude, he has a unisex name, haha.  At this point, I don't really care who sees my goods.

My lupus thing means exactly what I thought it did.  I am a hair away from the clinical diagnosis of antiphopholipis syndrome, APS.  He seemed unconcerned.  Lovenox, no big deal.  He seemed to think twins wouldn't be a big deal either.

This isn't the response I was expecting.  I told sperm donor, and he freaked out and said we can't possibly have twins.  So now we are at an impasse.  Medically, everything seems fine.  But we can't agree on what to do with the frosties.  One second I want to impant two.  The next I want to hire a surrogate.  The next I just want to do nothing.

Mostly, I'm scared.  The idea of losing another heartbeat doesn't sound like something I could survive.  I'm not sure I'm strong enough to keep going.